Let me tell you, the life of a traveling Whisker Oil Salesman is no cakewalk. A year on the road can include such hazards as thunderstorms, sword swallowers, motorcycle clubs, and senior citizen day at the county fair with the throngs of nearsighted elderly asking, "What the hell is Whisky Oil?".
But no hazard is as frustrating as the follicly starved, know-it-all, informing you, the beard craze is just a fad. Like any good comedian, a Whisker Oil Salesman has to know how to handle a heckler. Usually these guys are thrown off easily enough with a simple line like, "Bro, ever hear of Socrates, or Noah? Beards have been around awhile now".
But last summer a disturbing trend began to emerge. Our baby-faced-bretheren began to approach The Whisker Oil tent with a renewed ferver, a bounce in their step and an ace up their sleeve. Empowered if you will!
The Whisker Oil Tent Under Siege By The Follicly Starved
In fact, these were seemingly dark days indeed for The Winnipesaukee Whisker Oil Salesman. The news out of England hadn't been kind, and our follicly-starved-bretheren were only too eager to spread the word that, researchers had discovered that men with beards had more bacteria on their face than dogs have on their fur:
The message was clear, beards were a dirty business, and I was hearing it! Ohhhh, a day might start innocently enough, with lots of visitors to the tent, and women begging their men to buy some of The Winnipesaukee Whisker Oil with its smooth but bold scents. Inevitably though, the rabble-rousers would make an appearance and start to spread filthy rumors about bacteria, dogs rolling in dirt, and the perils of kissing a Whisker Oil Salesman or his followers.
Clearly, a line like, "But women love dogs", just wasn't going to cut it. A more compelling argument was needed.
Admittedly, there are times when it is almost embarrassing outlining the long list of benefits to using the Whisker Oil. Whether it's the fact that it stops a beard from itching, keeps your beard soft, or the fact that it smells amazing, the list of benefits is impressive.
But at moments like this, when confronted by a chubby cheeked little trouble maker, hell bent on undermining the bearded throngs, one little known benefit becomes vitally important. At that moment, rather than point out that more reputable studies have shown men without beards had more bacteria on their face than men with beards, I play my trump card, "That's all the more reason to buy Whisker Oil, it is made with antimicrobials that kill bacteria".
That's right folks, many of the oils in the formula, will keep your beard clean. In fact, from day one, I set out to make Winnepesaukee Whisker Oil a fresh, clean product with a long shelf life. The challenge was to do it, and stay true to my mission to create all-natural products.
By using specific oils designed to kill bacteria, the products have a robust shelf life and work overtime to keep your beard clean. Consider just one carrier oil used in every bottle of Winnipesaukee Whisker Oil - Jojoba:
Among all the great benefits, Antibacterial properties are the key here. It helps kill the bacteria your beard is going to pick up this beard/flu season. Add in all the other ingredients, some of them specifically designed to clean the beard, and you got one sexy, bold, cleaning machine.
She may love Fido, but he sleeps on the floor, not beside her in bed.